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Remember, what you focus on grows!

From the Colorado Dermatology Institute in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
What you focus on grows

I have been reflecting on all sorts of things this weekend. After another shooting, I took pause to ask how such acts of violence and hatred are even possible. What steps need to happen for us to hate/judge/treat others in a discriminatory fashion. This is what I came up with:

1) Find a way that someone else is different from you because if you view someone as “like” you then it is hard to mistreat them because you are then mistreating yourself.

2) Judge what they are doing with poor intent. Think about it. If a good friend says something that is off-putting you often give them grace because they “must just be having a bad day” and the relationship stays intact. But, if someone who you have judged negatively says the exact same thing that your friend said, it is a lot easier to judge them even further in a negative light and the downward spiral continues.

3) Only look at the facts you want to look at. So often we can choose to look at the good or the bad in any situation or in any person. What you focus on will grow. If you look at the “good” in another you will find more “good.” If you look at the “bad” in another you will find more “bad.”

The interesting thing about the above is that how you view/judge/treat others often times has little to nothing to do with them or their actions. It is a direct reflection of how you view yourself. Psychologists call it projection. You are projecting yourself onto others and because of that, how you see yourself is how you see others. If you try hard and give yourself grace, often you will give others grace. If you are full of hate and discontent, that is what you surround yourself by. If you are not in the habit of forgiving yourself then you have a really hard time forgiving others. There are so many examples to choose from but the basic thought is how you treat yourself is how you will treat others.

We all know it to be true but in our moments of hatred and judgment the temptation is to make it about the other person because they are so mean, lazy, ignorant, … But what if we viewed them differently? How would our lives turn out if we focused on the positive and the possible? Where do you think we would end up individually and as a society? How much more would you enjoy this life instead of fighting against all the bad stuff?  How many fewer shootings, wars, atrocities, broken relationships, … would we all have?

Food for thought!

This message was written by Dr. Reagan Anderson, a local dermatologist from Colorado Springs.

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